As I got the book Being Selfish to review I’d already heard the Sarah Marshank’s story. She got my attention as a previously sexual worker, who lived 10 years after that in celibate, and then dived into family life. But having heard about something is completely different from experiencing it, and the “unorthodox memoir” was this very first meeting after which my impression got matured. And I am happy to share with the reader that I fell in love with the book which is much more than simply a diary, and I feel infinite gratitude to the authoress for her bravery of writing it. Because women should tell and hear other women’s stories. That is how the wisdom spread in the powerful, feminine circle.
My practice as an intimacy coach is a huge inspiration for my work in the field of philosophy of love and eroticism. I start to reflect what erotic passion as an attitude is during the meeting on the radio with an established psychologist some time ago. He claimed that erotic passion, purely neurologically, cannot last after the maximum two years of the relationship and that after this period the couples are left without Eros (passionate love) only with Caritas (loving and caring).
I can’t agree with this kind of understanding of erotic passion. I discovered that with some kind of training of being intimate, sensual, sensitive with the help of good will there is a lot to gain in the area of experiencing eroticism after years, still with the same partner. But first we need to change the way how we think about erotic passion itself. What does it mean?
Erotic imagination is the place where all fantasies and possible sexual scenarios are sleeping, mostly awaken from time to time when we suddenly need them – probably being already in bed with the partner. And then nothing really spectacular or fresh is coming into our mind. We are just repeating the good, well known routine like we repeat every day our favorite fitness program. But as even the best program will turn within the time into a boring exercise, the same will be with making love. We need to tune it up and stretch!